


The One With the Avocados

by Oshii



Series: I Have That Effect on Women ;) Lucifer H/C Prompt Fills [8]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, Food, Food allergy, Hurt/Comfort, Sort Of, Vomiting, accidental poisoning, emeto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 21:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20880947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oshii/pseuds/Oshii
Summary: Chloe cooks Lucifer breakfast, and pesters him into trying avocado for the first time. Not being one to shy away from new adventures, Lucifer relents. The outcome is more violent than either of them expect, especially when the Devil’s newfound vulnerability extends to his meatsuit’s histamines. H/C, food allergy, allergic reaction, vomiting, light Deckerstar.





	The One With the Avocados

**Author's Note:**

> lets-get-rickety-rekt asked
> 
> Oof okay, random idea but Lucifer having some sort of food sensitivity and not knowing because he's never gone anywhere near it before? Maybe it's avocado or something like that, and Chloe persuades him to try it, says he's missing out, but it's soon making a reappearance along with everything he's eaten ever. Idk it's just something that's been swimming around in my brain for a while ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Posted April 18, 2019.  
Original link: https://oshii.tumblr.com/post/184263669189/oof-okay-random-idea-but-lucifer-having-some-sort

“I know it’s the breadfruit of California and all,” Lucifer began, eyeing the seemingly unassuming avocado with no small degree of trepidation, “but anything _that _touted by hipsters and yogis is nothing I need to put into my body. Unless it’s a hipster or yogi themselves, that is, and preferably one quite spry and bendy.”

Chloe smirked, glancing up at him from her omelet in progress. “You, scared to try something new? I can hardly believe my ears.”

The omelet sizzled as she added a handful of diced tomatoes and sprinkled in some pepper. Lucifer watched her cook, his mouth tightening into a thin, indignant line. “I am never scared of new things,” he insisted. “Just not too keen on ingesting anything colloquially referred to as the ‘alligator pear’. Last time I heard_ that _particular phrase, it was during a tequila-fueled weekend in Tijuana, and let me tell you, Detective—nice flip, by the way, bravo—”

“Lucifer.” Now Chloe’s expression was openly amused, a true grin spreading. “Just try it. You’ll like it.”

Before he could protest – mouth agape, finger raised, and everything – she’d slid the finished omelet onto a plate and set it down in front of him, smiling cherubically. “Breakfast is served. Decker’s famous California omelet, made from fresh and locally-sourced ingredients, with just a _dash_ of love thrown in.”

He simply stared at her for a moment, conveying his displeasure, and looked down at the omelet. Three lovely avocado slices garnished the meal, fanning out like tiny green victory flags. “They’re quite green.”

“And there’s more inside. Hence, _California_ omelet.”

“Really, Detective.”

“C’mon, Lucifer, I cannot _believe _you’ve never had one of these! They’re an L.A. staple!”

“Well, so are hookers and cocaine, and believe me, I’ve had plenty of _those_ to assimilate into society!”

Chloe groaned, slamming her palms on the counter and rolling her eyes back in her head theatrically, prompting Lucifer to heave an exasperated sigh of his own, and then punctuate it by stabbing a forkful of omelet, wiggling the congealed yellow egg bits so Chloe could see his emphasis.

“All right, Detective,” he acquiesced. “I am holding you solely responsible for whatever happens to me.” And, on the flourish, he took the bait, the prongs of the fork sliding neatly between his lips in triumph.

Chloe’s groan eased into a grin as she watched Lucifer swallow, _hmm_ in appreciation, and continue eating. “See,” she declared victoriously, “should’ve given avocados a chance a long time ago!”

Lucifer was too busy uttering orgasmic moans around mouthfuls of omelet to reply properly, but Chloe beamed with contentment regardless as she turned to start on the dishes in the sink, leaving him to his meal.

Dan had volunteered to drive Trixie to school that morning, since it was Chloe’s day off (a rare treat, one of which she intended to take full advantage) and she had agreed with little customary argument. She enjoyed a whole extra hour of sleep that morning, and when Lucifer had come a-knockin’, she’d actually smiled back at him and told him he was just in time for breakfast.

_Breakfast? Oh, ah, I’m guessing you don’t count twenty-year single malt as breakfast, Detective._

She’d rolled her eyes with good humor, gesturing toward the barstools. _Come inside, stupid._

_Gladly_, he’d grinned and purred, slinking past the threshold and settling himself upon a stool.

The water was warm and sudsy slipping over her bare hands, and she scrubbed contentedly, humming lowly and glancing up through the small window above the sink. Her apartment complex was stirring with signs of mid-morning life: cars backing out of driveways, a few young joggers in bright leggings, some kids riding bikes down the sidewalk, chased by haranguing mothers. The sun was halfway to noon, bright and omniscient and shining, as always. Warmth beamed through the window and bathed her face, and she closed her eyes with a quiet sigh, feeling as blissful as she could hardly remember.

“Ah…Detective?” That tone was unusually mild, undercut with some genuine worry. Her eyes opened.

“What’s up?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but…are avocados particularly known for their tingling aftereffects?”

Chloe furrowed her brow and turned around fully, and gasped out loud. Lucifer’s face was reddened, and swollen around the eyes, blotchy with fresh hives. He’d brought his handkerchief to his mouth to stifle a sudden dry cough, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Lucifer, stop eating that! You’re_ allergic_ to avocado!”

He coughed, again, and lowered the handkerchief, waving a hand in dismissal. “No, no, forgive me – they’re really quite delicious—” another cough, this one rougher, “—just a little spicy, is all—” and he actually took another bite to prove his point. “Mmm…m’mouth’s gone _numb_…”

Chloe reached across the island and smacked the fork from his hand, snatching his plate and moving it out of harm’s way. “No! _Stop_!” Her eyes were huge with panic. “Have you had a reaction like this before? Are you having trouble breathing?”

Still coughing, tears leaking more fulsomely now, he continued to wave her off in dismissal. “Come now, Detective, ‘m _fine_,” he insisted. “I’m the _Devil_, for crying out loud, I can’t _possibly_ be—”

This cough deepened abruptly into a gag, and Lucifer’s swollen eyes widened behind his silk handkerchief. Years of motherly instinct prompted Chloe to grab the nearest receptacle off the counter (a mixing bowl still smeared with the vestiges of homemade salsa) and rush over to hold it for him just in time. The next cough was harsh and wrenching, and he finally succumbed to defeat with a heaving retch that doubled him over the bowl held beneath his chin.

“Oh…” she moaned, face contorting in disgust and sympathy as semidigested omelet and scotch splattered into the bowl, and the hand not holding the bowl came up to rub his back as he gasped and heaved. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, Lucifer, I would_ never _have pressured you into eating that!”

Lucifer weakly lifted his head to catch his breath with a thin, reedy inhale, his eyes swollen and throat raw. Strings of mucus and saliva dangled from his lips. He looked positively horrendous, and likely felt worse. “Fff…_forgive me_, Chloe…” he apologized, and trailed off into a thin, gurgling retch that squeezed his eyes shut and wrung several years of energy from his body.

“Lucifer,” breathed Chloe, her own heart hammering in her chest as he continued to be violently sick. Was this even a normal allergic reaction? What should she be doing right now? Should she call 911? Call Dan? “You’re gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here.” For the moment, she settled on comforting him, continuing to rub soothing circles into his back as he strained to bring up more liquid stomach contents. “I’ve got you.”

Benadryl! Of course. She had some in the cabinet. But would he even be able to keep it down? Another exhausting, awful heave answered her question, and she pressed her lips into a thin line, steeling herself against the pervasive smell of sickness in such close proximity. Thankfully, he seemed to have brought up most of his stomach contents, but his body still attempted to expel, the reflex still gripping him in its horrible holding pattern – dry heave, gasp, cough, dry heave, repeat.

“Okay,” she coached, keeping her voice low and soothing, stilling the hand on his back to offer sturdier support, grounding him against his own body’s rebellion. “Okay. It’s okay. It’s over. Just breathe.”

And, miraculously, he did breathe. Wearily, slowly, Lucifer lifted his head from the makeshift emesis bin, eyes still swollen and streaming with tears, but he was breathing. Albeit in shuddering gasps, still wet with nausea, but not the panicked choking gags of a swollen throat. Chloe supposed he’d rid himself sufficiently of the antagonizing antigen that’d set off the reaction – namely, the avocado she’d bullied him into trying.

“Lucifer,” she murmured, dread settling thickly in the pit of her own stomach, “are you okay?”

There was no response on his end, at first. “I am…_so, sorry_,” she continued, tears welling in her own eyes. “Lucifer, if I’d have known—”

Unbelievably, he interrupted her apology with a weak chuckle. Withdrawing his handkerchief once again, he mopped at his mouth, sniffing and blinking away the tears that clumped together his dark lashes, the edge of his mouth pulling up into a dogged smirk despite his performance of a few moments hence. “I must say,” he began, hoarsely, “that was more invective than being exorcised by Saint Peter!”

Chloe let out a burst of incredulous, harried laughter, her hands now shaking. “_What_?”

With a ragged sigh, Lucifer reached out and took the bowl from her hands, promptly covering it with his handkerchief and giving it a nasty grimace. “Do forgive my digestive pyrotechnics, Detective,” he continued, letting a hand drift up to his stomach in punctuation. “Not entirely your fault. After all, I had no idea either of the…_livelihood _of this outcome.”

This declaration did little to help Chloe feel better, and she blinked away tears of her own. “Lucifer, I’m _sorry_,” she repeated, wringing her hands in humility. “I’m gonna get you a Benadryl and some aloe for those hives. You sure you’re not having trouble breathing?”

Lucifer, still besieged by blotchiness, looked up at her through irritated conjunctiva. “Quite sure. A little tingly, perhaps, but I’ll survive.”

“Okay,” Chloe said, again, blowing out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Okay. Sit tight, okay? I’m gonna just…go grab those for you. Be right back.”

“Chloe,” said Lucifer, and she stopped in her tracks, eyes huge with worry.

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favor?”

“Hm?”

“Stop beating yourself up. That omelet of pukey hivey death _was_ positively scrumptious. Just…hold the avocado next time, will you?”

Chloe chuckled, although she did have to wipe a tear from her eye. “Got it. You cook next time.”

Lucifer forced a rigid smile, dabbing his face with a procured paper towel. “Splendid.”

**Author's Note:**

> (I know canon!Lucifer has probably eaten avocado several times. I do not know his current preference on the fruit. I also am quite sure he’s used rubbers before, so a latex-fruit allergy was off the table from the start. Thus, enjoy…Lucifer experiencing a pastiche of generic rxn symptoms culminating in a graphic puke scene and some tender comfort, ending with a semi-snarky exchange of heartwarming quips, for good measure). 
> 
> My original note to OP, included to explain some medical discrepancies: 
> 
> @lets-get-rickety-rekt here you go! Sorry it took so long! <3 I wanted to do some Googling to make sure I included some realistic symptoms and home remedies, the likes of which I found on this website here [ https://allergysymptomsx.com/avocado-allergy.php ]. I was trying to go for what you suggested - a hypersensitivity rather than a full-blown anaphylactic-type allergic reaction - but I’m afraid some of the symptoms, like hives and itching and mouth tingling, overlapped. Regardless, I included the requested emeto (of COURSE), so I hope you enjoy!


End file.
